Losing Two Years

This is how I lost two years

I fast forwarded into now

This is how I lost you in those years

I lost us both inside myself.

I tried to explain: my brain is full. There is no room.

It was like living in a house with one room lit

Like sailing away into the fog

Like drifting down into the dust

Like disintegrating into ash.

I tried to explain: this is not who I am. This is not who I’ve always been.

Two years I lost.

They slipped away from me

Like holding onto melting snow.

I try to explain: for two years I wasn’t there.

Mind slow. I could not learn. I could not see.

The road washed away beneath my feet

The seasons changed around me.

This is how I lost two years

My head submerged in thick water and mud.